By Cheri Thacker
You’ve got to wonder about the kind of life someone lives when they’ve emailed the Dr. Phil Show twice in their lifetime, and both times a producer called to request they appear on the program.
Well, I can tell you it is pretty normal—except for those two things I emailed Dr. Phil about.
In my defense, Dr. Phil has some misleading forms on his website. He has an “Ask Dr. Phil” section where, by nature of its name, I thought it to be exactly that. In 2005, I emailed Dr. Phil a question about a pressing life situation. I expected an email response from a psychology intern on the “Ask Dr. Phil” staff that would offer some sage Texas advice like, “When you walk a mile in someone else’s boots, you’re a mile farther down the road than you were before.”
Instead, I came home from work one afternoon to find “Call Dr. Phil” written on our family message board. That’ll put dinner on hold for just about anyone!I called the number and reached an assistant producer. She explained they had an upcoming show on the topic I’d emailed about. “Would your ex-husband be willing to appear on the show?”
Officer D.A.R. barely tolerates existing on the same planet with me. I knew there was no way he would agree to sit on a stage with me. Besides, he hates doctors. Especially ones that might tell him what an idiot he can be at times.
Recently, I had another pressing life situation and, because I suffer from the inability to learn from my previous mistakes, I shot off another questionto Dr. Phil. A few days later, while waiting for my minivan to be cleaned, my cellphone screen announced a call from area code 323, Los Angeles, CA.I immediately thought, “This must be the Dr. Phil Show calling about my Ask Dr. Phil question.”
Ok, not really.I thought it was a skip tracer—calling the wrong number—and sent the call to voice mail.
When I checked my voice mail, it was Julie from the Dr. Phil show with a request that I call her back as soon as possible. This time it seems I’d caught their attention with a situation they’d never heard of before.
“Not even Dr. Phil?” I asked.
“Not even Dr. Phil. We’re very interested in having your family on the show. Would your husband be willing to appear?”
I was two for two in “Ask Dr. Phil” situations, but neither time would result in a solution because it required the presence of a man. There was no way Chief Money Maker would sit on stage and publicly discuss family matters on television. Besides, he hates doctors. Especially one’s he thinks are a kooks and a discredit to people everywhere bearing the name “Phil.”
“Well why did you write us?” asked Julie.
“Because your website says ‘Ask Dr. Phil’” I exclaimed.
“How’s that working for ya?” she shot back.
Touché.
